Well then, I couldn’t possibly leave out the most annoying yet utterly hypnotizing sitcom from when I was growing up: Full House. I must’ve watched every episode at least 4 times (sorry, Leonard). But strangely, I can’t remember much about the Full House episode where Michelle enters a soapbox derby.

I couldn’t find a fansite that posts screenshots or video clips of the episode. I guess Full House fans just aren’t as rabid as Simpsons’ fans. But fear not – I think I can piece together the major plot points:

Michelle: “I wanna enter a soapbox derby! Uncle Jesse – help me win!”

Uncle Jesse: “Sure thing short stuff – anything for you…as long as it doesn’t mess with my hair.”

Stephanie: “How rude! Michelle always gets her way – like being Princess for a day by cutting in front of me at Disney World!”

Joey: “Stephanie – Cut.It.Out.”

[Cue slow violin music - it's time for the moral of the episode!]

Danny: “Michelle, I just want you to know that we love you no matter who wins the race. We’re just proud that you’ve tried your best. But when the race is over, please make sure you wipe your shoes before you enter the house.”

Michelle: “You got it, dude!”

Michelle goes on to win the race. (Shock!)

The End.